From DDs to Diagnosis

It began in my twenties with a persistent bloat. I got all the tests I could done to identify why it looked like i'd eaten a bowling bowl and the verdict was IBS after exhaustive tests ending in a colonoscopy. A doctor proudly stated 'your intestines are just filled with shit'. Wrong, wrong, wrong, mate, but how was I to know? I went on a low FODMAP diet and dressed around my constantly distended, sometimes painful stomach punctuated by crippling episodes of reflux that kept me up all night.

Then, at the age of 25 after starting my eagerly awaited new job at tech company Atlassian, where I felt I finally had the work life balance I'd craved working at my high stress consulting job for two years since uni I felt a persistent pain in my left hip. Obsessive Googling in the wee dark hours of pain revealed it must be Sciatica and I made my first mistake - going to an inexperienced doctor near my home as I was too tired to venture to my female health specialist. Then, a Bowen therapist, Chyro and Physio all had a crack at fixing the pain over the course of a few months with no results, just frustration lack of sleep and tears.

One day my stomach suddenly bloated to become a massive rock hard mass in front of me. More than bowling bowl stomach- double bowling bowl. Something was very very wrong and I was lucky I had gone to work so the nearest doctor was my extremely experienced female health specialist, Mira. She knew instantly something wasn't right and sent me for an immediate X-ray, which I hobbled towards a few blocks away.

“They saw shadow on the scan and for the first time, but not the last, I was pulled in to the side rooms reserved for bad news scans”

I vividly remember leaning on a traffic light, needing to vomit and despairing. I then proceeded to vomit profusely in the bathroom of the scan room. I was terrified. They saw shadow on the X-ray and for the first time, but not the last, I was pulled in to the side rooms reserved for bad news scans. I was too scared to get an intravenous CT scan so I downed the disgusting oral liquid and it was sufficient to show that all was not well - more shadows. I was to go to the hospital emergency immediately and get a full CT scan to see what was afoot.

Very scared of the needle and not knowing that bigger dragons lurked under the surface

Hailing a cab on the street I felt like I was outside of my body. I called my partner at the time (hows the foreshadowing there), Ethan and said he had to meet me at St Vincent's Hospital. His presence calmed me and he helped me to overcome my lifetime held needle phobia by holding my hand, which contributed to why I was being diagnosed late as I'd avoided blood tests like the plague for years. Once I even ran out of a waiting room like a ghost in the night when they wanted to run a blood test. By the time I'd had an ultrasound and a CT scan we were told we were dealing with an ovarian mass. I assumed it would be polycystic ovaries and I was in the good company of several girlfriends I know with the condition. We all had no idea what was to come next. I cried because of the impact to my fertility but didn't even think the C word. A girl in a bed near me told me to 'calm down, it's not a big deal'. I've fantasised about what I would now say to her if I ever saw her again, but it would probably get me arrested. That was when the specialist told me that it looked like cancer and the whole situation turned on its head. The girl had left, so I couldn't revel in my histrionics being justified and then some. My parents needed to get there and things had gotten serious. It was a Friday so I couldn't see the specialist until the following Monday so I was sent home to reel and tell my loved ones the unthinkable.